Ep. #134 Are You Doing Enough… Or Too Much? (Ambition Pt. 2)

July 27, 2022 00:19:16
Ep. #134 Are You Doing Enough… Or Too Much? (Ambition Pt. 2)
Words That Move Me with Dana Wilson
Ep. #134 Are You Doing Enough… Or Too Much? (Ambition Pt. 2)
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Show Notes

After some great feedback from last week's episode, I decided to take a deeper dive on ambition. Can you have too much? Can you have too little? How do you know when to turn it on and off? Listen to this episode and you can become the traffic cop of your ambition intersection.

 

Show Notes:

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Episode Transcript

Transcript: Intro: Welcome to Words That Move Me, the podcast where movers and shakers, like you, get the information and inspiration you need to navigate your creative career with clarity and confidence. I am your host, Dana Wilson, and I move people. I am all about the tools and techniques that empower tomorrow's leaders to make the work of their dreams and live a full life while doing it. So whether you're new to the game or transitioning to your next echelon of greatness, you're in the right place. Hello, Hello, my friend. How you doing? You looking good. You feeling good? <laugh> did you enjoy the week off? Did you even notice that you had a week off from words that move me? Uh, we did not release an episode last week and I definitely noticed that <laugh>, I'll tell you what I was expecting to feel some sort of guilt or grief about my first week, not publishing a podcast in over a year and a half. Uh, I thought it might be sad to not do one. It wasn't <laugh> I thought I might feel defeated and I didn't. In fact, I felt great. I felt free because I was, uh, I guess while I was not making a podcast, I was thinking some very liberating and exciting thoughts specifically. I was thinking about this week's episode, uh, because of last week's episode, which was all about releasing ambition, letting go of goals and the desire to be chosen, validated, um, the desire to succeed last week's episode, dug into how releasing ambition, especially in your dense training might create something even better than progress. It might create the feeling that you are enough. Whoa. I was thinking about last week's episode, not only because I was practicing what I preach, I was actively releasing ambition, but I was simultaneously getting so much feedback from listeners about that episode. Um, I couldn't take my mind off of it because when I did, I would get another message or another, um, you know, another person reaching out to tell me how impactful, how helpful that perspective was. So I loved having a chance to talk with a few of you and go deeper on the subject of ambition for myself. I loved getting to practice new approaches to it in my daily life. And I am so excited to share with you what else I have learned about ambition and the release of it. Uh, so although I had a very different plan for my first episode back, I knew we needed a part two on this, but before we get into it, it's time for wins. Yes. This is the segment where I tell you something that I am celebrating. And then I pass the metaphorical mic to you. You tell me what's going well in your world, or you tell someone else, maybe the person you're sitting next to on the train. Um, you, you announce what is going well in your world today. I am celebrating my freaking 36th birthday. Whoa, doggy, what the heck time is bananas. <laugh> that is obviously a thought, not a fact. Anyways, I'm welcoming 36. I think it's gonna be wonderful after all I know more now than I have ever known, I have felt more now than I have ever felt. I appreciate my body more than I ever have before. And, um, I have more evidence that I can do stuff than I ever had before. So cheers, my friend, cheers to 36. And thank you to all of those who made my day so special. Jillian Schmitz for helping me literally kick off my birthday with her burlesque cabaret class, which she teaches every Thursday morning, by the way, here in, uh, I guess it's technically Van Nuys. She teaches at the performing arts center on Sepulveda, just north of Sato. I will link to it in the show notes because OMG, so freaking good. Also huge. Thank you to Ardyn Flint, Riley Higgins, Bailey Coates, Caroline Diamond and Hannah Russell. Thank you so much for joining me there. We had fun being our best nineties, sexy selves at 10 in the morning. It was perfect. Wouldn't change the thing about it. Um, also big love to Dominique Kelly, Emily Wataski Reshma Gajjar and Ki’liegh Williams for joining me for brunch after burlesque speaking of alliteration, I also baked a cake and got a box of flowers for my husband. <laugh> bears Bess Battlestar Galactica. For those of you who listened to the office, that was a gift for you anyways, big birthday bash. Oh, also I cannot forget to thank those who made birthday donations to words that move me via my fiscal sponsor. Thank you, Abby Tatro. Thank you, Emily Wanski and thank you Tessa. I so appreciate your donations. If you would like to make a belated birthday gift of a donation towards that move me. They are tax deductible. When you donate through my, my, uh, fiscal sponsor, I will definitely add the link to that in the show notes as well. Um, if you are not in the financial place to be giving birthday donations to me, I totally get it. Another awesome gift you could give is to leave a review or a rating wherever you are listening to this podcast right now. Um, it really does make such a big, big change. Okay? That's what I'm celebrating. That is what I'm asking of you. And now I'm asking you to take, take the floor with your win. Tell me what's going well in your world. Let's go. … All right, my friend. Congratulations. I am so happy for you. Please keep winning. You're crushing it. All right. Let's get into this. Shall we ambition part two, if you have not already listened to giving ambition time off, which was our last episode episode 1 33. Go ahead and pop over to do that. I do think the context of that episode will be useful as you listen on. I know that when I listened to last week's episode, even before I had heard all of the feedback from you, it felt somewhat unfinished or that something was missing. Um, I certainly was like deliberately unpacking and exploring this one new, uh, well kind of new-ish to me, concept of releasing ambition, uh, especially in training. That's where I focused. That's where I dug in. And um, in that episode, I sort of this notion of releasing ambition, uh, by saying that when we do it, we might unlock something even better than progress. We might find ourselves feeling enough. And I stand by that. I really believe that. But of course it is not as simple as release ambition and feel like you're enough <laugh> so that's where I wanna go deeper today. I think most of us are not totally sure if we're doing enough or if we're doing too much/most of us at some point have felt like we are too much or we are not enough. I hear it all the time. When I coach this subject of enoughness and I used to hear it all the time in my own head, I really, really wanted desperately like really wanted somebody to like call me and tell me, Hey, you should do exactly this and exactly this much of it and no more anymore. And you won't be effective. You'll be spread too thin people won't like you and you'll burn out any less and you'll never reach your potential. You won't succeed seriously. So much. Mental real estate went to this idea of enough and am I enough? And this uncertainty was exhausting. I would Teeter totter back and forth between doing all the things, but not burning out. Don't be over eager. Don't spread yourself too thin, but do be all in all the time. If you aren't all in all the, the time, then you don't mean it. Therefore you don't deserve it. Therefore get outta here. <laugh> trust me. I have been in that struggle and that struggle is real. Releasing ambition is not the solution to that struggle. It might help. It might help in certain moments or in certain circumstances, but releasing ambition as a way of life might not satisfy you. If you're a person who wants to accomplish challenging things or attain your highest potential or achieve success, heavy quotations around success, by the way. Speaker 0 00:09:31 So if the question is which one's better having ambition or releasing ambition, which one's better doing too much or not really doing enough, <laugh> we have ourselves a false dichotomy here. Is it a, or is it B, should I release ambition completely? Or should I go all in? What I hope to encourage today is an a B option. What I'd like to offer is that it's not about knowing which one is better ambition or the lack of ambition or the release of ambition. It's about being at the control center of each and knowing when and how much is useful. I started scratching at the surface of this in the last episode, but today I'm gonna give you some concepts and some imagery, cuz I love a good image that might help you do that. Let's go. So one of my coaching clients said that when it came to her career and the careers of those around her, like in her peer group or in her network, she felt like she was doggy paddling and everyone else was floating. She was working and chasing and hurting and other people were chilling. Like things just came to them, but she had to create them or she had to work for them. Is this not the epitome of relatable? My friends it's honestly sessions like these ones that are hard for me to stay outta the pool because, uh, out of the pool, I mean remain neutral, like not get caught up in the, in the it of it because I feel this so hard. I have thought these same thoughts, especially when I was younger and some of them still show up today. Uh, thankfully I have some tools to manage them now and I was able to help this person also here's how that went down. So she could tell that this floating versus dog paddling was just what she perceived. That that wasn't necessarily true, that it was possible. Everyone else was doggy paddling too. But the impression she got was that they were chilling while she was working and to add insult to injury in her book, being over eager, working too hard, trying to do all the things is not hot in her book. Being over eager is inauthentic and she does not want to be inauthentic. So there's like the salts in the wound, right? There's the working too hard. But then there's also the thinking that working too hard is not hot and that's not the way to be. Also on the flip side of that coin, she thought that if she got complacent, she would never achieve her full potential or success. In her mind, there was doing too much and feeling inauthentic or there was not doing enough and feeling afraid that she would never fulfill her potential, that she would never succeed. So the scene she had painted for herself was that her two modes of operating were unacceptable and that there was this, um, razor thin line in between those two things doing too much and not doing enough. That was the way the path to success. The answer to this question was this thin line of like acceptable thinking and behaving and any misstep. And she'd be too much or too little again and trying to live on that razor thin edge, trying to find what is the right way to be was not giving this person her desired results. When she thought that she was over eager, she felt inauthentic, which led to the IG scroll, darting, focus, and kind of fleeting attention, looking more towards the outside world than inside to her own answers. She became, but under unacceptable to herself. And when she thought that her complacency would lead to failure, instead of success, she felt scared, which then led to actually still taking class, reaching out to a network, reaching out to friends, but doing so from a place of scarcity or desperation as a result, she wasn't present. She wasn't in this moment because she was so afraid for that future moment. So as a result, she was not present in the now so focused about the out there. So I, I suppose when you weren't present, you are not a gift to yourself. And occasionally you're not a gift to others either. So neither of these were desirable results for this person. And what they ultimately decided was that what they wanted was to be present instead of dancing on that razor thin edge between overactive and afraid, they decided to firmly place themselves at the intersection of ambition, not on the razor thin line of it, the, the, the correct amount of each line, but the impasse, the intersection of both, they wanted to be the authority, the specialist, the person who could stand with integrity <laugh> and with a plan at that intersection of ambition and its release, they wanted to direct that flow of traffic. And this meant they would have to suit up. They would have to put on the badge, put on the gloves, look around, but plug into them, trust their own judgment. And then calmly decide when ambition would flow and when releasing it would flow, she discovered, and I think we all can agree that it is better to be the traffic cop at the intersection of ambition than it is to be on that razor sharp line in between doing too much and not doing enough. It's, it's, it's better to be at the intersection than it is to know which one is better. They both exist and you decide when they flow. Okay. So if, if you are not able to put yourself in that intersection and control the flow of traffic, if you don't trust your judgment of when, of, of, of what should go when, how much, if you're still asking yourself, am I doing this right? How do I know when it's time to change from the lazy river, uh, to the big wave pool? Or how do I know when it's time to go from that merge lane where I'm kind of coasting into the fast lane? Which one should I do? And when should I do it? Here's a little tool. Look at your results. Look at your life. Now, if you aren't getting the results you want, it's time for a change. Maybe even a small change, cuz this is not an all or nothing conversation. You can take it in percentages, but look at your results and get real with yourself. If you are not present, if you are burnt out, if you aren't getting the results that you want, when you're calling on ambition, then try releasing it every now and then, or in degrees. Right? Same as true vice versa. If you're releasing your ambition now and currently stagnant, stagnant, stagnant, or not learning, not enjoying yourself or not experiencing the world the way you'd like to try calling on more ambition. <laugh> I think it truly is that simple. Be the traffic cop, my friend. And how do you know who gets the right of way, ask your results better yet. Ask your desired results. What do you want your experience of the world to be and what is required to get you those results? It is probably a little bit of each <laugh> ambition and release. So I invite you to join me at the control center of them. I invite you to join me in that intersection, grab your whistle, grab your gloves, and let's do this. <laugh>. That is what I have for you today. My friend, I hope this, this, uh, round two look at ambition has been helpful for you. Uh, I hope you are celebrating. I know that I still am. And uh, I hope you get out into the world into that intersection of ambition and release and I hope you keep it very funky. I'll talk to you soon. Bye. … Outro: This podcast was produced by me with the help of many music by Max Winney logo and brand design by Bree reets and a big thanks to Riley Higgins, our executive assistant and editor, and also a massive thanks to you. The mover, who is no stranger to taking action, I will not stand in the way of you taking action. I will not cannot stop you from downloading episodes or leaving a review and a rating. I cannot keep you from visiting thedanawilson.com to join our mailing list. I will not ban you from my online store for spending your hard earned money on the cool merch and awesome programs. That'll await you there. And of course, if you want to talk with me, work with me and make moves with the rest of the words that move me community, I will 100% not stop you. Visit thedanawilson.com to become a member and get a peak at everything else I do that is not a weekly podcast. Keep it funky, everyone.

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