Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign welcome to Words that Move Me. I'm Dana, your host, and I'm a little out of practice, you guys. I haven't recorded in my home in three months. I've been gone since January, June, and today is September something.
And so sitting in this chair and talking in this microphone and recording on the correct audio channel, all of it feels very new. Thank you for being here, though, for season whatever. Is it like we've been doing this a minute and I'm thrilled about this episode. I'm always inspired.
I'm always excited when I have a guest that I don't already know very well because it's a genuine get to know you. Today I am talking to the one and only Bryn Nicole. She is a badass mover and shaker. She is a mother. She is entrepreneur. She wears many hats, and she wears them all beautifully. I'm excited to share this conversation with you.
But first, we do wins here at Words that Move Me. And today I'm celebrating a big one. If you know me and if you know entertainment industry contracts for choreographers, then you know that work for hire language is a big buzzkill. And today I'm celebrating getting rid of work for hire language in one of my contracts with a big company. So this is tremendous moment of precedent in my personal life. I know several choreographers who have been successful in doing so. It's one of the huge initiatives of the choreographers Guild is for choreographers to by default own their work. That is what this means for me and on this specific project. So I'm really thrilled about it. That's what's going well with my life contracts. That's my world.
Now you go. What's going well with you? Big wins. Big wins. Say them out loud. It's important.
Congratulations. I'm so glad you're winning. Now, without any further ado, I give you the one, the only Bryn Nicole.
We're doing a podcast. Bryn, welcome to Words that Move Me. I'm so excited.
It's actually quite rare. Cause I sort of pull from my pool of friends, my network of people that I know. You and I don't know each other very well. We've had a phone call, but this is our first time meeting in person. Thank you for being here. Thank you for joining me. And I'll let you set off on one of the biggest challenges of this podcast, which is introducing yourself.
How would you like people to be introduced to you? What do you want the listener viewer to know?
[00:02:59] Speaker B: Is this like IG bio or this is like conversational dancer's choice. Okay.
[00:03:05] Speaker A: I've had the full gamut. I've had people go, bullet, bullet, bullet. I've had people say, I'm a human in the world who likes a good matcha.
[00:03:12] Speaker B: See, I'm right in the middle.
[00:03:14] Speaker A: Okay, Go.
[00:03:14] Speaker B: That's why I think I struggle.
[00:03:15] Speaker A: We love a. We love a hybrid.
[00:03:17] Speaker B: I'm both of those. Yeah. Well, my name is Bryn. Nicole. I. I've been a professional dancer since I was 14, and I've always balanced love with my career and family. Though sometimes that balance has, you know, been teeter tottered. So I think it's. I'm a spiritual woman that has always been trying to find the balance between my purpose and my relationships.
And, you know, becoming a mother and the teacher journey and being a choreographer, I've realized that I just.
I want to share my passions and inspire women as much as I can.
And I do think there's a lack of history sometimes in all of our personal careers. Right.
[00:04:02] Speaker A: So I think the lineage.
[00:04:04] Speaker B: Yeah. And I.
I think that I'm proud to kind of make it more known that I'm a baby that caught the respect of all the ones before me, like, truly the people that are on social media so people wouldn't know them.
[00:04:18] Speaker A: Yep. And, yeah, we're kind of a bridge generation, aren't we? Yeah.
[00:04:22] Speaker B: How old are you?
[00:04:23] Speaker A: I'm 29. Oh, I'm 39, girl.
[00:04:27] Speaker B: I'm 39. Oh, okay. Okay.
[00:04:29] Speaker A: I don't know why came out of my mouth. I'm 39.
[00:04:32] Speaker B: Well, maybe that's how you feel, but I was thinking that. Yeah, I was thinking you were a generation before, not a full generation. 35.
[00:04:39] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, we're kind of. Yeah, we're straddling.
[00:04:42] Speaker B: Yeah. But, like, I knew you were here, and I was like, I came after you.
[00:04:47] Speaker A: Okay. Back to introduction times. By the way, I am a wandering road. I will get off the freeway.
[00:04:53] Speaker B: You know what?
[00:04:53] Speaker A: I'm going to pit stop.
[00:04:55] Speaker B: I had such a hard time with Instagram bios, defining myself, explaining, because I feel like so many things. Right.
[00:05:01] Speaker A: You're like, I can't do this in 120 characters.
[00:05:04] Speaker B: Yes. I. Every day I kind of edit it because I'm not happy with how it describes me. I'm just never satisfied.
[00:05:10] Speaker A: Daily profile?
[00:05:11] Speaker B: No. I probably change it every other day.
[00:05:13] Speaker A: That's incredible. I have always been drawn to multi hyphenates. I've been drawn to multi types. I'm drawn to nuanced and complicated individuals. So I'm not shocked that we are finally in each other's orbit. I'm a little bit shocked that it took this long.
[00:05:28] Speaker B: Yeah. But we are really different styles. Yeah. I never would have crossed paths with you in a dance room.
[00:05:33] Speaker A: Right. Even though the dance world is an acorn to like have parallel tracks but never overlap.
[00:05:41] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:05:42] Speaker A: Yeah. Even some of my dear friends I've never worked with like never gigged with. Isn't that interesting?
[00:05:48] Speaker B: That is interesting.
[00:05:49] Speaker A: Okay. So you are a multi hyphenate person. You're a mom. You've been dancing professionally since you were 14. But your professional dance life looks very different today. Talk a little bit about what you do now.
[00:06:03] Speaker B: So I'm really grateful that I became a teacher because that has given me the freedom to craft a dance career for myself.
If I wasn't.
Yeah. Not being having to be reliant on jobs now I'm big on manifestation. I do believe I could. I can start to manifest those things. But it's felt really good to have the structure with teaching because it's allowed for branding.
[00:06:27] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:28] Speaker B: Sub sub kind of thing to talk about. It's interesting. Something I've observed is that it mainly heals teachers create a brand.
[00:06:34] Speaker A: Ah yeah.
Versus like a class title.
[00:06:39] Speaker B: Yeah.
Well. Or genre just off their name.
[00:06:43] Speaker A: Okay. Give me some examples.
[00:06:44] Speaker B: So for example, when I first started teaching heels at Millennium there was only two teachers that taught it at Millennium before me. And at the time I didn't even know who else. I don't think there were. I think Andy J taught at Debbie Reynolds and I think Sienna Lyons totally around that era. And then Aisha Francis had her camp but she didn't teach at a student.
[00:07:05] Speaker A: A locally like a regular.
[00:07:06] Speaker B: Like that's the first era right there.
[00:07:08] Speaker A: Uhhuh.
[00:07:09] Speaker B: And I may have been right in alignment with Sienna cuz I was the second.
[00:07:12] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:07:13] Speaker B: Yeah. There was a few of us. Anyway. What. So I'm going off of the teachers before me. Ms.
Charlene Quigley and Jersey Y Michelle.
They both made brands. So Jersey had Hottie Heels.
[00:07:26] Speaker A: Oh my God. Hottie Heels. That's right.
[00:07:30] Speaker B: Yes. And then Charlene sometimes would flip flop. She had something like oh, oh something. But then she would change it and it was. It didn't. She didn't stick with.
[00:07:45] Speaker A: Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[00:07:46] Speaker B: But anyway because I came after them I was like I. I guess I need that too. Ah.
[00:07:50] Speaker A: So like that's how it's done.
[00:07:52] Speaker B: That's how it's done.
Because they're like come take my Hottie heels class or come take my blah blah blah.
[00:07:58] Speaker A: Come take my brand name class.
[00:08:00] Speaker B: Yes. And I, I want. I wonder if they did that too, because the style heels was brand new.
[00:08:05] Speaker A: Right.
[00:08:05] Speaker B: So they're like, you probably don't know what this is. Come take my hottie heels class.
[00:08:10] Speaker A: You know, you're so right.
Because now it's common to call it heels. And then people know what you're talking worldwide.
[00:08:16] Speaker B: It's heels now. Now it's known. Right. So now it's. Sometimes I. I feel like I have to be like, I'm teaching heels. I. Sometimes I'm worried if I say I'm teaching confidence, you won't now won't know what that means.
[00:08:27] Speaker A: Right.
[00:08:28] Speaker B: So now I subtitle. I'm like, pump it in my heels class.
[00:08:32] Speaker A: There you go.
[00:08:32] Speaker B: Just so you know.
[00:08:33] Speaker A: So it's interesting how it, how it switched. And there just must have been a tipping point where there were enough different brands that it was confusing. And so the.
What started as a helpful tool separated people enough.
And then at one point there was a tipping point and there needed to be an umbrella, which was heels.
[00:08:53] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:08:53] Speaker A: And then people knew what they were doing. It's so interesting. How do you fit into that ecosystem?
[00:08:58] Speaker B: Well, when I started, like, just to give the journey or present day.
[00:09:02] Speaker A: Oh, sure. Give me the journey. I'm here for the long haul.
[00:09:04] Speaker B: Okay. Well, yeah. So I mean, when you get a slot, it's kind of shaping that. That schedule for you. And at the time, getting a slot was like, that's what you center things around. Right. So I had my Monday, Wednesday slot. Like their renting space wasn't a thing. Like the option to have another option totally wasn't really there.
[00:09:22] Speaker A: The schedule you get, you're in there.
[00:09:25] Speaker B: You, you work everything around that. Yeah. So I knew I was committing to a Monday, Wednesday slot, and that structured me. Yeah. So that allowed me to build the teaching platform that I did. And at the time as well, Millennium was franchised in different countries and states. And it was really cool because then that's how I got to start traveling to teach heels. Because I would go to the millennium China or the millennium Japan, and then one in Texas, I believe or. Yeah. So it's like, then I started traveling to teach the style that showed me that's a thing. Because that was my first. I was like, oh, wow.
I'm able to, like, I'm traveling for me. Not first an artist. Yeah. Like, they flew me to go learn from me. Wow. So that really opened my eyes and I started to structure, like, my, My rates for that. There wasn't really a blueprint much. At least for heals teachers. Or maybe it's also things we don't really talk about.
[00:10:19] Speaker A: Correct.
[00:10:20] Speaker B: We all have our own rates and Correct.
[00:10:22] Speaker A: Because we're taught not to.
[00:10:23] Speaker B: Yeah. So it's like I really had to figure out those details, what that looks like. How can I thrive off of this? Oh, wow. If I do this once a month, like, this could be a good. You know, this could be a life. I could do that. Traveling and teaching. And then just then. Yeah. Building up confidence became a thing. Privates became a thing. Naturally from class. People want to work with you one on one. So then that grew into a business I was able to find. I started really building private clientele.
And then, yeah, posting my class videos on YouTube then gave me the influencer side. That was so unintentional because it. YouTube wasn't huge.
[00:11:00] Speaker A: It was new.
[00:11:01] Speaker B: Yeah. It was newer. And I'm telling you, like, uploading my class videos, I did it aimlessly. Like, I.
[00:11:06] Speaker A: No thought, no titles, no.
[00:11:08] Speaker B: No description. I just like, boop, upload walked away. Like, boop, upload walked away. And then I remember. I don't.
[00:11:14] Speaker A: Simpler times.
[00:11:15] Speaker B: Remember the timeline. But at one point in time, I think someone was like, you know, you have a really, really big following on YouTube. Like, I don't. And I was like, wait, I do. And then I went and checked my profile and I had like, I don't remember the number at the time, but it's like 300,000 subscribers or something.
Something where I was like, whoa, that is a lot. That's more than I have on Instagram. And that's where I funnel everything and do everything. I was like, a lot more than I have on Instagram. Like triple. And so then I was like, okay, sorry, taking it a bit more seriously.
[00:11:45] Speaker A: Yeah, this is.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: Yeah. And then I developed like a system being an influencer. Like, I have my weekly class video and now I post it once a week. And now those video videos are reaching more people in other countries. So now I'm really starting to travel.
Confidence is growing. I'm building intensives now. Okay. And there wasn't many heels intensives at this time. And I'm not one to be like, I was the first. Because I don't think I was the first, but I definitely was one of the first wave. Yeah, it was a part of the movement for sure.
[00:12:12] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:12:12] Speaker B: And so like when I crafted a beginner heels intensive, I called it the Roots and I based it off an emotional delivery system. This was very original, like, very Very. And I was selling these out. Oh my God, the numbers were high. Like, I put this out, it's sold out. I put this out, it's sold out. My classes at Millennium were getting sold out. Like, I was really like riding the highway. Yes. I was like, this is awesome. I had great, strong assistants.
They were, in a sense, getting known from being my assistants. And their, their growth in my class was visible. Like, when they came to me, they were good, but then they were becoming like the girl. That girl. Yes. And then we were a trio, you know, we were like, okay, we were always in the classes. So now there's like that branding involved.
Anyway, simultaneously, I was still professional dancing, so I was a working teacher. Like, I was a working choreographer.
[00:13:04] Speaker A: All the while protecting that Monday, Wednesday, protecting the travel stuff anywhere you could.
[00:13:09] Speaker B: Subbing it out if needed. But yes, it was my slot. I didn't give it up to. That's my foundation. Find me back there.
Yeah. So. And then that made me more in demand because all these professional dancers, they were either in a sense my equal as pro dancers or they were also realizing, I'm becoming a choreographer now. Like, I'm really transitioning. And I was getting jobs as a choreographer, like big jobs. Like for Pitbull. I choreographed an American Idol finale performance with him featuring Chris Brown. Lindsey Sterling, the violinist, choreographed her music video. I had formally toured with Snoop for two years and then he hired me to choreograph one of his music videos.
So anyway, respect was there.
[00:13:50] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:13:50] Speaker B: Right.
And I would say at the time, my room was probably like 50% professional dancers, 50% aspiring.
And so that made the class videos go really, really high too, because it was like really showcasing not just me as a strong dancer in the room. It was like, these are fucking hot ass women. Like power groups. Power groups. And then heels is such a sexy style. It's so empowering. And so that was making it grow immensely as well.
[00:14:25] Speaker A: Because it's hot, what they say.
What is it? I'm losing the words for it. Oh, sex sells.
[00:14:32] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:14:33] Speaker A: Yeah, that's a, that's a, that's a recipe that has proven itself to work time and time again. But again, if we back up, the new, like the class footage was still a new thing. So this was sexy in a space that you don't normally see it. We're used to seeing sexy on TV and in films and in music videos for sure. But getting to see it in a training environment is somehow different. It's this weird like, one plus one equals one million thing where you can't. I can't even tell.
I'm not gonna lie. Some of it is not for me. Some of it I would rather see on a stage with the lights, with the things with the costum and watching it in a training environment, it feels like spying on someone. Like watching someone through a keyhole.
[00:15:18] Speaker B: No, it feels like adult content.
[00:15:21] Speaker A: Yeah, some of it. Yeah, for sure. But I think what it sounds like you were able to do is speak to two audiences at once by pulling together dancer dancers, people who respect you and your career, as well as non dancers who want to feel alive and empowered in their bodies.
And was that how it always was? Did that, did your audience change after you became a mom? Because actually, yeah, I want to focus towards that. Because the reason why we're here talking today. Yeah, we could.
[00:15:51] Speaker B: I know, I know.
[00:15:52] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, yeah. The reason we're here talking today, the reason we got to know each other is because of a post that myself and Words that Move Me shared a couple weeks ago. Now, if you're listening to this on the day of its release, that triggered a lot of parents, specifically moms on Instagram, to be super, super upset. And you one of them. And you were also one of the very few who took my invitation to talk one on one about it because it was a huge learning experience for me.
And so is this podcast period. Like this is you guys having a podcast is a front row seat to some of the best learning of your life. And yes, sometimes it's a hot seat and sometimes it's uncomfortable. And this moment a couple weeks ago was one of those moments, but it put us in touch. We had a great one on one conversation where you showed me a couple blind spots and we had a hard conversation. It was fabulous. So we're here today specifically to talk about your relationship to working as a mom. And one of the things you said on our call that I will never forget is I had to rebuild my audience from one, but that, that was perfect for you because it's actually the thing that you are passionate about is helping women get back in touch with their sexy, with their power once they have become parents. So timeline wise, the story that you've led us up to till now is all pre parent, right?
[00:17:20] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:17:20] Speaker A: And were you called to having children? Did you.
[00:17:25] Speaker B: How.
[00:17:25] Speaker A: Where did that decision come career wise? Did you feel supported in making that decision? Is a huge question that I have. And then what happened next?
[00:17:34] Speaker B: Yes, those are three really big questions. Yeah. Yes. And I'm like in the thick of feeling and really Processing the emotions of my two baby daddies because there's, there's challenges in both of those relationships. And I feel like I'm single for the first time in my life. Like really single. You know what I'm saying? Like committed.
Zero desire to get to know anyone else except myself. Because at this point I want to look at it all. So anyway, I don't want to take.
[00:18:09] Speaker A: A position on that. There's value in, in partnerships and singleness. But I really want to cheers you right now. So I just want to tell you from one single, you're actually.
[00:18:20] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:18:20] Speaker A: And from knowing, from getting time to be with yourself, know yourself and love being with yourself.
That's my favorite thing.
[00:18:27] Speaker B: Different confidence. It's a more vulnerable confidence actually is what it feels like. It almost feels like the confidence that I would feel in relationships, like had dependency involved and when they would go away, I'm like, oh my God, I need to feel that powerful without you. Like, what is it that you may. Yeah.
[00:18:45] Speaker A: And you're stepping into that now in your, in your singleness.
[00:18:48] Speaker B: Yes. And I can feel the authenticity and how much time it really does take.
[00:18:53] Speaker A: Take. Aha.
[00:18:54] Speaker B: So I'm in the six month mark.
[00:18:56] Speaker A: Okay. Killer.
[00:18:56] Speaker B: And I do feel a quantum leap of growth at this point, but I can still feel like the years that are needed.
[00:19:05] Speaker A: Okay. Anyway, congratulations on that journey and thank you for sharing. That's hugely vulnerable.
I. Yep. I have been a married person and I really loved being a married person. I really, I would. I. I had a great experience. I also am unique in that I had a good experience of divorce as well. It was mutual, it was loving, it was kind. And I think that really encouraged me towards enjoying singleness as well. My reintroduction back to the world didn't include a ouch, ouch, ouch phase. You know, it was like, I'm sad, I've hurt.
I've shown myself that I can feel my feelings and I want to feel more. My ticker still ticks. Let's continue to learn and love. So that was my experience of becoming single was, I think, very gentle, very rare. And I owe it all to my partner and to a lot of therapy.
But I think I also, when I think about singleness.
Is that what it's called?
[00:20:13] Speaker B: Single, what you call it, that singleness?
[00:20:16] Speaker A: I equate it to freedom. And knowing the freedom that I have when I'm alone, man, it puts a high bar for the partner or partners. I just want to say that out loud for the record that maybe to come because that degree of freedom, I'm not interested in sacrificing. I love my freedom. All that to say, I think relationships do exist where you can feel fully free within them.
But, man, oh, man, you said earlier in your introduction you care a lot about relationships.
I think being people who work, our work is feelings driven. Right. You're in there creating material to put on stage with Snoop Dogg. It has to have an appeal. It has to have an emotionality. It has to have an anchor, a feeling that's going to have him feeling a certain way and have audiences feeling a certain way. We deal with feelings all the time. It makes sense that we'd be good at relationships.
And yet I find myself still learning, always learning.
[00:21:25] Speaker B: Well, it's so different because everything you just said were the. The what you were describing. With the art form of it, with that relationship aspect, we get more control in. It's like we're directing that, but the relationship involves another person.
[00:21:42] Speaker A: It's a collaboration.
[00:21:43] Speaker B: Yes, collaboration. Where you're like, okay, I can feel these feelings over here easily. I know how good it feels to want to express this or this. And, yeah, we tap into feelings without in. In the sense. It's just the purest experience of it because it's just us and the feeling.
[00:21:58] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:21:59] Speaker B: But then when it involves another person. Yes. That's a whole other dance. And it's different with everybody.
[00:22:04] Speaker A: So true. Everything in the industry, everything, as soon as it's bigger than one person, becomes a collaboration. And so there. It's all relationships, y'.
[00:22:13] Speaker B: All.
[00:22:13] Speaker A: It's all relationships. And being responsible for your feelings and your freedom is the best way to have successful collaborations, whether they're romantic or professional.
[00:22:24] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:22:24] Speaker A: Period. The end. You have to be responsible for your.
[00:22:27] Speaker B: Own stuff and also, like, in hopes. Care to work it out with the person that you're getting to experience it with.
Yeah. I feel like that's, like, that's the missing block sometimes in the reception. Like, I like to work things out in a relationship because I see it as purposeful.
[00:22:46] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:22:46] Speaker B: This happened for a reason.
[00:22:47] Speaker A: Yep.
[00:22:48] Speaker B: I'm not a. I didn't like something.
[00:22:50] Speaker A: I'm out.
[00:22:51] Speaker B: We're not gonna talk about it. I'm just gonna do that.
[00:22:54] Speaker A: Yeah, that's not for me either.
[00:22:56] Speaker B: No, it's not for me either, clearly. Because.
[00:22:58] Speaker A: Because when I cast the net asking for people who wanted to have a more serious conversation about this, you took the bait. You were like, yes, I'm in. I like having these conversations.
[00:23:07] Speaker B: I really do enjoy them because I do think there's without them, we don't see something differently. And I, I have a spiritual perspective on it all. Sometimes I think we need to be triggered to listen more.
Sometimes I think that trigger is a part of the formula.
And I think that sometimes the pieces line up in a way where.
Where it's Caroline who had to be the one to say it. For whatever reason in her path. She only knows, you know, but she played the part she did for the reason she did. You did too.
And all the moms triggered by it have our reasons why we needed to be too, I think.
And I think for me, that reason is really trying to be an advocate for this gray area.
And we talked about this on our phone call before I came onto the podcast to even get to know each other and our stances on things because I really am passionate about helping the dance field have more support for any dancer, teacher, choreographer transitioning into motherhood. Just how can we create a little bit more of a normalcy for that and a support system for that? Because it really doesn't exist. So all of our thoughts are we have to stop dancing. Unless you've already built something. Like, I am very grateful. Kind of circling back to why I kind of went in depth about the branding of my teaching.
Having that you had that to come back to.
[00:24:45] Speaker A: Yeah, you had a.
A business versus being a gig worker who's always looking for the next thing. You created yourself. The thing that's always there.
[00:24:54] Speaker B: Which really gave me a yeah, like I, I true. I too would have not known how to come back into the dance world at all if I didn't have that.
[00:25:07] Speaker A: I do want to say because I want to air, I want to get better at airing alternative viewpoints.
One of the things lacking in my clip with Caroline was that and I think that was part of the reason it got so much heat is that it was a piece of a very big and complicated conversation and period. The end.
I have in my life more examples than the alternative of women who had children and kept it pushing. More than not more than oh, so and so is having a baby and have decided to not dance anymore.
I could. I don't want to take any more time just listing them all, but they way more people having babies and continuing working than not so. I do want to say that that exists and that we talk about this in the follow up. I had a parents in the entertainment industry roundtable conversation. There were only nine of them, but it was oh my God, talk about learning. It was a brilliant learning experience and we all agreed this Stereotype. This notion that you can either be a mom or a career person is outdated. It is untrue. It is ready to be abolished.
[00:26:28] Speaker B: So that's great.
[00:26:29] Speaker A: That said, I do agree that the entertainment industry is notoriously bad at supporting parents, at having pathways for support and success in that transition. Notoriously bad.
The lack of maternity and paternity leave, the lack of childcare on set. I mean the list goes on. It is. Our industry has a lot of work to do in terms of parity to other industries in that way.
Did that factor at all into your decision to become a parent or what did that moment look like for you and did you feel supported in your decision?
[00:27:04] Speaker B: When I first became a parent, this was nine years ago now. There wasn't many that I saw in your.
[00:27:12] Speaker A: In your orbit.
[00:27:13] Speaker B: I just knew kind of tying back into how with relationships being just as important to me as the dreams and the success and the next thing I can accomplish. Yes.
I was married. Yeah Already of two years at this time. And this is to my childhood love. So it was a relationship that I wanted to show you are as important as all these other things.
And there was, there was a sickness scare that happened. He got in the hospital because he had staph infection. It took days to heal. It just put things into perspective for me about what I really am prioritizing. It made love go at the forefront. Cuz you know, I was going, going, going at the time. So being at the hospital it slowed me down. This love has been a part of my life very long. You know. So it's like it, it just, it became in this moment I had this moment like I'm ready. I just felt like let's make a baby. Like there really was this switch and he was ready too. He had always wanted to be a father. So there wasn't convinc.
We were just met with like yeah.
[00:28:16] Speaker A: Thank you for sharing that. That's powerful.
[00:28:18] Speaker B: And I think it felt. I did feel sturdy. I felt married. You know he was building his business with his gym and it was stable and we were both doing good. So I didn't feel like worry yeah that we. We couldn't supply it and our families live here too. So there was that anyway.
Yeah. So. But then that's what got my brain going and think in starting to think about okay if I am going to have to take time off what can I create now that could be there for some kind of passive income while I'm not working? Because wow my career is really physical. If I'm not There at this moment, right now, the way I've structured things, there's no money coming in.
So that's where I. That's where my brain started to turn. A little more business.
[00:29:02] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:29:02] Speaker B: And that's when I thought about teacher training my assistants and asking them if they could become.
If they wanted to become confidence teachers. So I was thinking of kind of you franchise franchising.
Yeah. So this is. It's all happening in divine order now I'm thinking, wow, becoming a mom is only serving my business. And yes, I think that that happens too. But it's easy and beautiful when you have a structure to build from. Right. Yeah. So I'm just expanding a seed that was already really well planted at this point.
[00:29:32] Speaker A: Right, right, right.
[00:29:32] Speaker B: And I'm high on respect by the time I'm making this transition. So it wasn't hard to convince my assistants to be confidence in teachers. They really wanted to be confidence teachers.
So I'm starting to build a structure that's giving me confidence to transition into motherhood too.
Big trials and errors in this process.
Yeah.
Lots of lessons learned. Because the framework that I was building with my teachers, I had them contracted and I thought it was a very fair situation. And the way I designed it, I really wasn't profiting much. I was just going to take 50% of all my privates because I had so many privates. And I'm funneling your.
[00:30:12] Speaker A: Your like one on one clients went to your assistance at that time or the newly certified confidence teachers and you took 50 of that.
[00:30:22] Speaker B: Yes, of what I would have charged. So they were making, in a sense, they were making for first time private rates. They were making a great rate. Got you right here. Yeah. And my client is still getting, in my opinion, a great product that is worth what I would have charged. So I didn't think anyone was losing in this anyway.
[00:30:41] Speaker A: Yeah, I love a win. Win.
[00:30:43] Speaker B: Yeah. That's how I was feeling about it. And I wasn't taking any. Anything from their millennium checks when I got them to be subs for me.
[00:30:50] Speaker A: Because I know it's a Monday, Wednesday.
[00:30:51] Speaker B: Anyway, so then now I'm coming back into confidence after Nala, my. My daughter. And I come back as soon as my C section heals because I was nervous.
I started to feel nervous I was gonna lose my demographic. This was my first time stepping away. I didn't know how it would be coming back into this. Will it be as strong, you know, and it was. The numbers were there in my students, but then my assistants, they. They broke the contract that we had.
There was conversations of them wanting to just break off and. And teach on their own now. And I just felt pretty abandoned. It was really hard and I felt really lonely. And I had to build what felt like a new community at that point because I put like most all my energy into them.
[00:31:38] Speaker A: Yep. Yep.
[00:31:40] Speaker B: So when they left, I was like, oh my God, I do got to work at this. Like I got. But it was a blessing. I had to build a.
A new community, new faces and see the value in my new brand.
[00:31:51] Speaker A: Or no.
[00:31:52] Speaker B: I kept confidence. I always had. I've like my bio. I've always had ideas of wanting to change it, but God always would be like, Nike doesn't change their name. They might change their logo. They might change something else. But Nike doesn't change their name. So I just. Like, that was in my head. It's like, keep confidence. Just re. Re. Energize it. Like maybe change a logo or something.
[00:32:13] Speaker A: Redefine your demographic.
[00:32:14] Speaker B: Redefine. Yeah.
[00:32:15] Speaker A: Find your real brandies.
[00:32:17] Speaker B: Do it all the time. Like Reebok shoes used to be nerdy and now they're so cute and they're in Urban Outfitters again. You know, like they. They do it all the time.
So. Yeah. Anyway, so that, that was a blessing. And it was easy when I had just one daughter, honestly, because I had my support system with my husband at the time and stuff.
But I was struggling mentally. We ended up getting divorced and becoming a single mom was a new aspect of it too.
[00:32:44] Speaker A: Holy shit.
[00:32:44] Speaker B: Having to think more about money now because now my. That leveled up my mind again thinking of how can I make more passive income. So all these circumstances were helping me build the infrastructure for sure. And that's why I do honestly think these transit. These transitions can be catalysts for something really great.
[00:33:03] Speaker A: Helps you trigger bigger and stronger.
[00:33:05] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:33:06] Speaker A: And more financially supported.
[00:33:08] Speaker B: No. I tripled my income becoming a single mom purely off of the new responsibilities I'm now taking on. Everything just kept. Yeah. So all these challenges kept becoming blessings.
[00:33:21] Speaker A: Like they do.
[00:33:23] Speaker B: Like they do. Yes. And so I do feel like present day though my demographic because now it's like talking about how so there's so much of everything now.
There's so much heal.
[00:33:36] Speaker A: Space saturated all.
[00:33:38] Speaker B: Oh my God. Now there's new challenges to navigate with that. It's like now the spread out is so great.
[00:33:45] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:33:46] Speaker B: That it's like you really have to find your niche and what makes sense. There has to be logic in place now. It can't just be like, I feel like There's a part of me that's still chasing validation by having the strongest dancers in my room because I had it at one point. So it's really hard to go, like, transparently and vulnerably that that demographic for me is not hitting really anymore. It did at one point in time. And now I feel like the ones that really show up consistently are begin. Beginners or mamas that just want to. Yeah, like, really feel this for themselves. But then they do come to my class and they realize it's harder than they thought it would be.
[00:34:26] Speaker A: So they're not. Repeat, not as many.
[00:34:28] Speaker B: It's kind of keeping some of them once they come.
[00:34:31] Speaker A: I understand that now.
[00:34:32] Speaker B: It's this. Like, I. I was praying on the way home last night and I vividly remember having this exact feeling when I was on the Snoop Dog tour. And I knew I was coming to the end of it for me, wanting to stay on it. When I got on the Snoop tour, I got on being an artist. I was an artist before I booked this tour.
But I remember when I was coming, wanting off the tour, I had this moment in my hotel room where I was like, when I pull off, what am I going to do? I don't want to go back to music.
I accept that.
So what am I coming home to? And I just remember praying, being, telling God, this is what I know I want. And I just spit out pillars in a sense, and I left them kind of open. I'm like, I know that I want to create. Like, that's for sure. I know that I want to dance and be on stage and choreograph and, and dance. I know that for sure. I know I really want a platform to talk. Like, that was always a very strong goal of mine since I was little. Yeah, I'm pretty sure. I confidently sent in my two week notice to the Snoop camp without any guarantee of what was, what was coming of this. I just, I prayed, followed the trust, sent the email, did my last two weeks. Within those two weeks, though, I do remember this. I got offered my teaching slot at Millennium, I think via email too. Like, it was like Charlene Quigley was moving to New York.
And then also I got an audition to be on a dance show called Dance Showdown. It's a spin off of Dancing with the Stars and it only premiered on YouTube. D Trix was the host and Lorianne Gibson was a judge. And it was actually, I remember, a pretty awesome job. It was well produced and it involved, it involved being a dancer, a teacher, a choreographer, a presence. Every one of our partners were YouTube stars. Like, that was the whole gimmick. So now my YouTube is growing because I'm connected to all these famous YouTubers. So it was like the best concoction of everything. I would have never known to ask for.
[00:36:38] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:36:38] Speaker B: Like, would have never known to specify.
[00:36:40] Speaker A: And was it local? Were you able to put roots here and build with your partner?
[00:36:46] Speaker B: And I had a schedule. It was like we rehearsed every this day. We shot every Thursday.
It was super consistent. And it was one of the things, like, it became seasons. So like Dancing with the Stars, if you're a pro, most likely you have a job next year too, you know, so. Yeah, I did three seasons of this show. Amazing. And it was such great money. And like. Yeah.
[00:37:05] Speaker A: Checked all the boxes.
[00:37:07] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:37:07] Speaker A: I gave you freedom and also fulfilled the things that you wanted to Philip.
[00:37:12] Speaker B: Yes. And I was really meeting people that wanted to continue on in ways like Lynn. That's how I met Lindsey Sterling, because she was a.
She won the first season and we became close on set. And then she hired me to choreograph her music video.
[00:37:26] Speaker A: Amazing.
[00:37:27] Speaker B: Yeah. So it's just like spider webbing.
[00:37:29] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:37:30] Speaker B: But anyway, now tying into how present day I had the same kind of moment with God because I now feel like I'm like, things need to change.
[00:37:41] Speaker A: You're at a. You're at another transition.
[00:37:43] Speaker B: Yes, I'm right in it.
[00:37:45] Speaker A: But this time you have twins.
[00:37:47] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:37:48] Speaker A: So you've got three kids total. And you send out the same flair. You send out the same.
[00:37:53] Speaker B: These are the pillars.
Different pillars now. And they're scary to talk about. So that's how I know that I really want them.
Because I feel like I'm going into new territory. I think before the pillars were familiar territories. I just knew they needed to shape.
[00:38:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:38:09] Speaker B: You know, and this involves a lot of. Out of my comfort zone. What I'm calling in now.
[00:38:14] Speaker A: Okay. Would you like to share?
[00:38:16] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. Okay. I'll talk about. This would be my first time saying these things out loud. In a sense.
I feel very, very passionate and inspired by intellect at this point in my life. Like, I really get off on great conversation and I love talking about the spiritual depth of things and bringing new to certain things that can be complicated in the spiritual realm. And so I'm very passionate about practical spirituality and certain ways that I've come to teach it and write about it. I've started to coach one on one in spiritual guidance sessions because I made an online membership that kind of segued spiritual Guidance and heels. Dancing.
[00:38:55] Speaker A: Oh, interesting. That intersection.
[00:38:58] Speaker B: Well, I realized that in my style there's a big inner work portion that's needed for this style to really be harnessed.
[00:39:07] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:39:08] Speaker B: Well, for professional dancers, they have this natural knack with it. Truly there is this sense of self knowingness. Is it authentic? 100. I don't know. Because we're such trained performers.
[00:39:18] Speaker A: Really good at tricking you and, and yes.
[00:39:20] Speaker B: And. And there's that aspect of it too. So that's something I've become passionate about of like am I just doing the face I know that works or am I really meaning this face? You know, like from the most energetic sexual honed in energy from me, you know, is that really how I would whip my hair or do I just know how big that hair whip should be? That's. Do you know what I'm saying? So it's like there's a lot. And that becomes exciting for me to talk about.
[00:39:49] Speaker A: Like fun to explore.
[00:39:51] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:39:52] Speaker A: Fun to toggle those dials up and down.
[00:39:53] Speaker B: Yes. I feel like some of my, like my drive before was I really did want to work in the industry. I really did want to rack up my credits. And that excited me. The and now experiences and like unlocking feelings and energies and having breakthroughs like that really genuinely does excite me. And taking that to greater platforms and seeing how that affects people and hearing freedom they found from these things and like, it almost feels like a more simple joy and one that's more reachable because it's more universally wanted.
[00:40:28] Speaker A: Right.
Versus like I want to book a tour.
[00:40:31] Speaker B: Right.
And so it feels like I want to feel good in my body.
[00:40:35] Speaker A: I want to feel useful in this life.
[00:40:37] Speaker B: Yeah. And I. I feel almost like avatar wise, like selfless wise. The. The ambitions are changing and so my end goals are changing totally. So there's that. But then there is a fear to like, I'm like, will I look like I. I can't do what I used to do anymore? I have that fear.
[00:40:57] Speaker A: What do you think?
[00:40:58] Speaker B: I don't want to believe that. That's not what I want to believe. Do you believe it?
No.
No, I don't. I think it's actually cool and I think it's authentic because it's really coming from a real place.
[00:41:13] Speaker A: Are you okay with people being wrong about you if they do think that?
[00:41:16] Speaker B: Yeah, I actually really am.
I think it's helpful to talk about it because for some reason I don't think I thought I was.
[00:41:25] Speaker A: I hear you.
[00:41:26] Speaker B: You know what I'm saying? But if you really ask me, I'm like, I really don't care.
[00:41:30] Speaker A: Sometimes all you need is a person to hold a mirror up.
[00:41:33] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:41:33] Speaker A: And look at it.
[00:41:34] Speaker B: And. Yeah. And it is fun to know that, like, if you really honor where you want to go now, you will attract people from that place. And that's way more fulfilling than still existing in something because you knew it before, but you know it's not you anymore.
Yeah. But it is scary to transition out of.
[00:41:53] Speaker A: Hear that. I hear that. I mean, definitely relate.
I love this sentiment that what got you here will not get you there. You have to change your thinking, you have to change the way you feel, and you have to change your behavior. And yeah, you may have to change your people.
[00:42:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:42:07] Speaker A: If there is where you want to be, if here is where you want to be, great. Stay, stay. Thinking and doing and feeling and being with the same. And that is fine. A lot of people do their way that one way for a long fucking time, and it is okay.
[00:42:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:42:22] Speaker A: But if here is not singing to you.
[00:42:24] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:42:25] Speaker A: Then go ahead, find there. And yeah, it likely will be scary. But from the sounds of how you pivoted during your transition into becoming a parent, being afraid of not having money, being afraid of losing your career, being a healthy dose of afraid didn't paralyze you, but rather catapulted you into action and new ways of thinking, new ways of operating and moving through the world. I am not worried about you in the slightest. So final question I have for you is, what are the words that move you? Do you have like a guiding principle, a quote, a mantra?
[00:43:00] Speaker B: Go, God got me.
That's it.
[00:43:05] Speaker A: You got. That was word economy right there. Very well. Very well said.
[00:43:09] Speaker B: It's literally been loop. And I have to say, not only has it been on loop, but I was at the car dealership yesterday getting out of the situation I've been in with it. And I was at the dealership all day, and there was this other woman there all day. And I saw that she was wearing a shirt that had writing on it. But I never. I didn't read it. We were both getting a car that day. At the end of the night, we finally talked. She was very soulful, very. Just like Grandmother E, that kind of energy. She saw my car be pulled up. She was like, that's a nice whip you got. And I was like, thank you, because I've been going through it today. Like, I needed that confirmation. Lots of money going into this. And she was like, no, really? And. And we ended up talking. She's a single mom to her husband. Let. We literally shot the real quick. And after we were done talking, she was like, you're gonna do real good. Like, she just, like, sent me off with. I was like, I start crying. I was like, I really needed you.
[00:43:58] Speaker A: Yeah. The car dealership will have you unzipped. Like, you will. Yeah, we're raw. We're all very emotionally raw.
[00:44:04] Speaker B: Everything comes to the forefront of the.
[00:44:06] Speaker A: Car dealership or on airplanes for me.
[00:44:08] Speaker B: Yeah. But so anyway, after our conversation, I ended up just peeking down at her shirt as I was walking away, and it literally said, God got me.
[00:44:18] Speaker A: Stop it.
[00:44:19] Speaker B: I was already repeating those three words to myself for days on end before I saw this woman. I'm literally. I was like, whoa. I was like, oh, my God. Your shirt says God got me. She was like, God does. I was like, no, I've been saying. Saying that. Like, I've been saying that for three days. And she was like. And he do he. She was like, this is divine intervention right here. This is confirmation. She, like, affirmed.
[00:44:39] Speaker A: Flip your whole.
[00:44:40] Speaker B: Yeah, so no, when I say I'm quick to say those three words because there's like. It's like, there's backstory.
[00:44:46] Speaker A: Beautiful.
[00:44:46] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:44:47] Speaker A: Well, and there, my friend, thank you so much for being here, for joining me in conversation on the podcast and outside of the podcast. Yeah, I'll be sure to include links to wherever anybody can find more of you.
[00:44:56] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:44:57] Speaker A: Until then, though, my friends, get out into the world. Keep it very funky. I'll talk to you later.
This podcast was produced by me with the help of many Big, big love to our executive assistant and editor, Riley Higgins. Our communications manager is Fiona Small, with additional support from Ori Vajadares. Our music is by Max Winnie, logo and brand design by Bri Reitz. And if you're digging the podcast, leave a review and rating and please share. Also, if you want to connect with me and the many marvelous members of the Words that Move Me community, visit Words that Move me dot com. If you're simply curious to know more about me and the work that I do outside of this podcast, visit thedanawilson.com.
