Episode Transcript
[00:00:04] Hey, everyone. I'm Dana. This is words that move me. This is my daisy pillow. And I'm thrilled that you're here today because we're talking about something that has not come up on the podcast before. Like, in all 200 plus episodes, this subject has not come up. Not directly, anyways. We talk about mindset all the time, but today, we are talking about training mindsets and how to know if you are too in your head, and if so, how to get out and into your power. Mindfulness and feelings are a big, big deal to me, and so is getting the most out of your training. So this seems natural. We're talking about it, but first, we're gonna do wins. We're talking about wins. Always winning. Today, I'm celebrating. Oh, my God. Yes, it is my last teaching trip of the season.
[00:00:57] The summer season. It's rounding out pretty nicely. But, y'all, the heat this summer right now, it seems a little bit more tolerable than it has in past weeks. Or maybe it's just not as hot. Or maybe I'm getting used to it. I don't know what it is. But has anyone else been knocked out, like, so tired all the time? So tired and hot.
[00:01:19] Anyways, I'm aware this is not a weather podcast, so over to you, listener, with your what's going well in your world.
[00:01:41] Okay, we're back. Um, all right. Today we're talking about getting out of your head. And if you even should, like, let's address this. I was talking to Riley, my executive assistant and editor and friend, and we were talking about class, and there's something in my eye. Pause.
[00:02:04] I was talking to Riley. My executive says, okay, I should also just say, it's better. We're good. So, I was talking to Riley, and she said she noticed a theme recently. A lot of teachers asking students to get out of their heads. So let's, like, detangle this concept and see what it means, and if this is even advice that you should be taking. Okay, get out of your head. What does that mean? What does it mean to be in your head? I think generally it means that you're overthinking or overanalyzing or being over critical and maybe getting caught or frozen, stuck, maybe in not so useful thought spirals sound like an agreeable definition of being in your head. I hope so. In the context of a dance class, that might sound like. What was that? I couldn't see. I wish the teacher would call me out. I really wish the teacher would call me out. I keep missing that section. Why do I keep missing that section? It's because I'm not good enough. I'm bad. Or maybe these are the wrong shoes. I should have worn different shoes. I should know this song better. Why does everybody know this song except for me? I'm stupid. What am I gonna do to get noticed? And so on and so on and so on.
[00:03:11] You can tell I have some experience being in my head.
[00:03:16] I wanna shine a light on an alternative, because I do spend a lot of time in my head. And it might also sound like, oh, I don't know that step, but it reminds me a little bit of a shamrock. All I have to do is pivot with the weight on my toe and then switch my weight at the end. Or. Oh, okay. Accents are on the two, four, six, and then on the eight, there's this funny little high. I could hit that with my upper body without losing any choreo on the lower body.
[00:03:44] Okay, that's tight. That's cool. Or this time, I'm gonna imagine, like, I'm dancing this on a beach, on summer vacation, on a beach. Sand under my feet, hot air around my body, and I'm an angel that has wings, for a random example, that is also being in your head. So why might someone ask you to get out of your head?
[00:04:11] Perhaps to encourage you to be more present, less critical, less analytical, maybe less intellectual and more instinctual.
[00:04:21] They might also be asking you to be less imaginative, to be taking a little bit less creative liberty, maybe to be less abstract. I think that the reason people usually ask this, the reason they say to get out of your head, is because they're trying to help. First of all, that should just be set up front. They're trying to help, but they're also saying it to keep you present, to keep you mindful.
[00:04:46] Which is funny, because where is your mind?
[00:04:50] Your mind is in your head. So what the hell? If getting out of my head means being mindful and my mind is in my head, then how the hell do we do this? Why are we not talking about this? How do I get out of my head? This seems like a tricky question, and I'm going to answer it in just a second. But first, I want to talk about how, you know, if you are too in your head and if you really need to get out. I'll tell you, there's no magic acceptable number of thoughts to think or to have per class, per session, per battle, per performance. There's just no, like, nobody set that. No group of people got together and said, like, this is the number of acceptable thoughts. And if you have more than that number, then you're two in your head and you need to get out. Like that never happened.
[00:05:41] Of course not, thankfully. So the answer to the question am I too in my head? Is in the way that you feel. If you are feeling anxious, if you're feeling self doubt or heavy or choked up or foggy or frantic, you might be too in your head, quote unquote. But for some, being in your head being full of thought, being in control of this like ship that is your body. For some, that can feel empowering or freeing or artful, even so, if being in your head feels like that, if being in your head feels good, then I wouldn't recommend getting out of it, even if the teacher asks you to. But if you are in your head, that's leading you to feel in a way that's leading you to feel choked or frantic or foggy and you want to get out. If you're feeling those unwanted feelings and caught in these thought spirals that are not useful, here are a few things that you can do that might help.
[00:06:49] Number one, name it. Instead of calling it I'm too in my head, which reads I'm wrong and I should be different. Then try simply identifying the specific feeling and say to yourself, I am feeling doubtful, or I am feeling unseen, or I am feeling unqualified. Fill in the blank, but name it.
[00:07:15] Then breathe. And remember you have felt this before, likely, and you will likely feel it again and survive. Like be totally okay. Number two, separate the thoughts, aka the sentences in your head, from the facts, aka what's actually going on. What are the unchangeable bits of your situation? And what are the changeable bits of your situation? Spoiler alert, your thoughts are the changeable bits. They are optional. They are changeable.
[00:07:48] The number of people in class you cannot control, the shoes on your feet. If you only brought one pair, that's also just what you got. Otherwise, I suppose you could take them off and that's your option. But the song you're dancing to, the clothes you're wearing, those are the facts. They're not neutral. They're not good or bad. They just exist. And your thoughts are the sentences in your head that apply meaning to those facts. It's your thoughts that are deciding if a situation is good or bad, and they are changeable. And furthermore, your thoughts are not you. Thinking I'm bad doesn't make you bad. Thinking I can't do it doesn't mean you can't actually do it. So separating your thoughts from the facts and separating the thoughts from yourself are a really important piece of coming back to the moment. Your thoughts are just sentences, offerings from your brain that you can choose to accept or not.
[00:08:47] And that brings me to number three.
[00:08:50] Choose acceptance. Choose like radical acceptance, except that you cannot control as long as they're safe and not harmful circumstances. Like, if they are unsafe, I suggest you leave, and that would be you changing the circumstances. But if they're safe and not harmful circumstances, like the number of people in the room or your outfit, I suggest you accept them. You can accept those things as just the temporary circumstances of the moment. You can also accept the way that you feel.
[00:09:25] Accepting the way you feel might sound like this.
[00:09:29] Of course I'm not feeling seen. There are 500 people in here, and I'm hiding in the back. Or of course, I'm feeling unqualified.
[00:09:38] It's been a long time since I danced this style at this level. Yeah, this totally makes sense. Or yeah, of course I'm feeling selfed out. I'm a human in the world, surrounded by other humans in the world. Of course I'm gonna feel selfed out.
[00:09:54] I'm a human. I'm going to feel feelings. I'm going to feel it all. Even in a dance class, I can feel the whole spectrum of feelings in an hour and a half. It's insane.
[00:10:05] So once you've gone through all of that work, the naming, the feeling, the breathing into it, the separating thoughts from facts, what's changeable here and what is not. The choosing to accept the unchangeable bits and to accept the way that you feel and then take authorship of the way that you're thinking. After that work is out of the way, you should be starting to feel clear, more calm, more collected, more grounded, and then take another breath. Let that new feeling sink in, and then rinse and repeat. Training really is as much about mindset as it is about physicality, if not more so. I hope this little reminder about mindfulness is helpful to you, especially when people are asking you to get out of your head, because the pathway to getting out of your head is through your thinking. So don't make that mean that you are wrong for going into your head in order to get out of it. I hope that you can come back to this reminder whenever you need it. It's short and sweet to get out of your head, focus on how you feel, give it a name. Then separate the thoughts from the facts and remember that your thoughts are not you. Then choose radical acceptance of the circumstances, as long as they are not harmful to you, choose acceptance of the way that you feel.
[00:11:33] Breathe and repeat, my friends.
[00:11:38] That's it.
[00:11:39] Once you've done that, go ahead and click subscribe. If you're digging the podcast, leave a review or a rating. If you love it and if you don't, also reach out to me at words that move me podcast on Instagram. Then go ahead and get out of your head or stay in there if it's working for you. But either way, keep it funky. I will talk to you soon. This podcast was produced by me with the help of many big, big love to our executive assistant and editor, Riley Higgins. Our communications manager is ory Valladares. Our music is by Max Winnie, logo and brand design by breetz, thumbnails and marketing by Fiona Small. You can make your tax deductible donations towards that move me. Thanks to our fiscal sponsor, the dance resource center, and also many thanks to you. I'm so glad you're here. And if you're digging the pod, please share it. Leave a review and rating. And if you want to coach with me and the many marvelous members of the words that move me community, visit wordsthatmoveme.com. if you're simply curious to know more about me and the work I do outside of this podcast, visit thedanawilson.com.
