193. Even Our Heroes Have Bad Habits

December 06, 2023 00:56:51
193. Even Our Heroes Have Bad Habits
Words That Move Me with Dana Wilson
193. Even Our Heroes Have Bad Habits

Dec 06 2023 | 00:56:51

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This episode is a grab bag full of solid gold as we ask every single guest from 2023 for one bad habit they want to kick… And why!

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Episode Transcript

Hello. Hello. I'm Dana Wilson, and this is Words That Move Me. I move people. I choreograph movies, music videos, and TV shows. I dance for pop stars. I coach some really awesome people. But what I truly love is to learn, share, and inspire clarity and confidence in my fellow movers and shakers. So if you are navigating a creative career or simply want to live a little more funky and free, then settle in, because this is for you. Hello, my friend. Welcome to words that move me I'm Dana. This is the second to last episode of 2023. I know I'm dressed like it's New Year's Eve. Thank you. I thought this was our last episode of the year. The good news is that there's one more after this, and it's fantastic. So if you are not already subscribed to the podcast, if you're not already getting the notifications, please do, because the next episode is going to be so great. We really are bringing 2023 to a fantastic close on Words That Move Me. So. Oh, my God. Speaking of fantastic clothes, my win this week is my cape that I'm wearing. I found this cape with my sister at the Sherman Oaks Antique Mall, if you are not already aware. Fantastic. Get into the Sherman oaks antique mall. Big fan. Say what? It's closing. What? It's having a final sale. I got to go. I'm out of here. Like, what final sale? Are they moving, or are they like, they've got to be moving. There are so many vendors in there that have such solid freaking gold. Okay, first episode of 2024, we will be addressing the fate of Sherman Oaks Antique Mall. It's important that I know, and it's important that I share with you. What is that? What even is that? I'm having a crisis. So that's both a win and a potential loss for me. Now, Hugo, what's going well in your world? Hit me. Yay. Congratulations. I'm so glad you're winning, and I really hope that we all keep winning because the Sherman Oaks Antique Mall is just moving. That's really my secret hope. Keep winning, though. Win all the way into 2024. Okay, let's get into this thing, shall we? All guests from 2023 answering the question, what is a bad habit that you are trying to kick? Almost all of my guests gave good conversation around this subject, so you're going to hear a lot more than just the bad habit. You're going to hear about the why. You're going to hear about the how. This is solid gold, my friends. Enjoy. All of my guests from 2023 answering the question, what is one bad habit you have that you're trying to kick and why? The question that I'm asking every guest this year is what is a bad habit that you have that you are trying to kick? Bad habit. A bad habit that I'm trying to kick is feeling guilty when I don't need to. I did know, that something that I always struggled with and I've become more aware of in my later years. And it's definitely something that I'm working on. How do you do that? Just to try not to always get in my head about and not always assume that someone's trying to make me feel guilty because a lot of it is also with myself and how I perceive. So wait, there's the feeling guilty part and then there's the thinking that someone else is trying to make you feel guilty. Yeah, those are different things. Exactly. And your approach to changing that habit is to just get out of your head. Yeah, in many ways get out of my head. But also, I think the first step is just to be aware of it. To be aware that it's a thing that is an issue. And then just be cautious. And just whenever it happens, then maybe just take a second, just breathe, look at risks, and then it might solve itself. Yeah. My favorite hack to any of those. This is going to take some time. If that is a hardwired I call it thought choreography. If that's a thought that you've been rehearsing for a really long time, like me and like, I love you, it's in there. If somebody tried to teach me like, I love you right now, it would be very hard for me to Unshape one, three, five and eight. One. It would be very hard for me to do that. So one of the things that helps is I'm becoming a person who can do different choreography to like, I love you. I'm becoming a person who's not consumed by guilt. I'm becoming a person who remembers that guilt is like mine, not theirs or not from them. It comes from me. And I can definitely handle it for sure. Not being so overly critical about myself. Speak on it. It's a habit for you to be critical of yourself? Yes. I'm very intuitive. I'm an extroverted introvert because I am that way when I step in spaces. I am an FBI and CIA agent with everything. Instead of just being and being confident in who I am, I have to wiretap and do like, Mission Impossible style vetting of every human being before encountering the experience. And that just comes from just basically I just need to stop at this year. I just need to the critical is of yourself and of others. It just projects because it's not a judgment on other people. It's me trying to protect, I guess how people receive me, of course, are not responsible for it. That's on them. Exactly. So in 2023, it's understanding I'm not responsible for people's interpretations of Caramec. So I have to just be and that comes with me. Let go of the overly critical part. Kara, you're okay? You're bomb. Just do it. Just do it. So, 2023. Thank you for sharing that, Kara. That's important for, I think, everyone to hear. Absolutely. The bad habit I have is negative self talk. I want to really let that one OOH letting go of thoughts of I can't, I shouldn't, I won't, and I am blah, blah, blah. I'm too old. I'm to this, I'm to that and try to just be kinder to myself inside and out and to others. Going for more positive self talk in general. Thank you for that reminder. What is one bad habit that you have and would like to change? Thinking I'm inferior. Impostor syndrome. Yes. That is something that I'm working right now. But I think that humbleness sometimes becomes an insecurity. Totally. And I don't give myself the credit that I should. I think we should all stay humble. Of course, that's something that will keep you in the game and can be rewarding in many ways. Sure. And you can create a legacy out of that thinking like, oh, maybe I don't deserve this or maybe this is too much, or am I going to be able to do this or stuff like that. Now, like I said in the past, the universe is putting this stuff in my door for a reason. I need to learn how to accept it. I need to learn how to embrace the abundance that is coming my way. And this is why I have this tattoo over here. What does it say? Gratitude is gratitude in Spanish. Just to remind me like, okay, you're going to be fine. Maybe this sounds like a lot, but just be grateful that this is coming your way and embrace whatever blessing comes. You're ready for this. I love this distinction between being humble and having gratitude because sometimes they sound like the same thing. Be grateful. Just be grateful that you have this little thing. Be great. But actually, when humble shows up to hurt you, like when too low happens, gratitude elevates gratitude. Oh, thank you. Big thing that I have. Thank you. Oh, yes. That's coming to me for right. Wait deserve that. Worthy of that. Totally worthy. Huge. Thank you for sharing. I love that. That's great. Side thought. In my episode with my acting teacher, my podcast episode, we talk about his understanding of the word humble. Its root is humus. Humus in Latin means of the earth. And grounded is something that a lot of people say is like it's an endearing quality, it's a redeeming quality. It's a positive attribute to be grounded. But my acting teacher always says, do you really want to be what other people walk on? Do you want to be the Earth you want to be what people step on? Or do you want to go outside and walk around freely? Full of your talent. So not full of yourself as much as full of your talent. If you go find that episode, the next time you find yourself facing this humble thing, because he's got thoughts about it and it was really transformative to me, especially in this industry where you do at some point have to sell yourself. And it helps to think that the thing you're selling is fucking great. And if you have a hard time thinking you're great, you have a hard time selling the thing. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. He's got a lot of awesome to say. It might help you in your efforts to kick this. It always comes from other habit telling you how great you are, and then you're like, thanks. But then you don't really believe it, and if you don't, it shows, or it'll show up eventually. I think a lot of us are simply afraid of appearing arrogant. We have people in our lives who make it look so bad to be that confident or that full of yourself. Or another thought that helps me distinguish between confident, which I do find so attractive, and arrogant, is simply that confidence says I'm good and arrogance says I'm the best or better than you. It's not hot to me. I don't actually like that. But it's so far from my nature, and I think yours, too, that if you tried to be arrogant, I don't even think you'd land there. I don't even think you could if you tried. So you might as well try for good instead of the best ever and just land it good like yourself. Yes, I'm me. This is good. I am good. I am not better than you. I'm not better than no, you're just good. Squarely. You're just me doing my Visa case helped me to realize, right. Because you have to sell yourself. You have to sell yourself as the best dancer in the world or that I am the number one person in my country and that's why I deserve to be here. But I remember seeing all the requirements, and I was like, I'm not gonna I can't. Interesting. But then my lawyer, she was like, okay, so you're the only person teaching locking right now in Los Angeles? Yes. You're the only woman yeah. You're the only woman who has a regular class. A regular class. Can't argue with that. And then she just started doing all these things and saying that she's the only woman teaching a regular class in California in one of the best studios in the world, and pretty much nobody else is teaching as regularly as her, this style specifically. So I was, like, reading all this, and I was like, It's true. Oh, my God. It's true. So I was like, okay, I deserve to be here. So it's not like, oh, yeah, for sure, I'm the shit. Please, nobody talk to me. On the contrary, it's like, this is a big responsibility I need to work my ass of now. So I think it's how you take it. Ego again. That's fantastic. I hope that anybody listening, or even people who are not foreigners looking to live and work somewhere else. The exercise of writing about yourself as though you are great can be a really uncomfortable process. But have a huge end result which for you went from feeling like an imposter to feeling responsible and ownership over your responsibilities and pride for your responsibilities. That can be a huge transformation. And I'm excited for us to have you, not just the podcast, not just California, but the greater great America, if we could call her that. And I hope that anybody listening who feels far away from something that they want or a place that they want to be can take something home with them from this conversation, I know that it's been very inspiring for me. So thank you again. Thank you. Dana OOH one bad habit that I. [00:14:31] Speaker B: Would like to change is seeking too much validation. [00:14:39] Speaker A: From the outside world. From the others out there. [00:14:42] Speaker B: Yeah, from the others out there. And it's a natural thing that people we all do, right? We have social media, instant gratification, instant validation. And sometimes you have to realize, like, that power already exists within you. You were born with it. It's your birthright to be validated in the world and in the space. And sometimes I forget that even with all the things I've been blessed to accomplish and privileged to accomplish and keep accelerating, sometimes I still have to remind myself that I'm enough and I'm good enough. And what I've done is great and what I continue to do is great, and I don't need to prove that to anybody. [00:15:24] Speaker A: That's it. And this year, the question that I ask every guest is, how fucking cute is wrist roll? Just kidding. Tell me about a bad habit that you have that you would like to change. Wolf yeah, I know all of that. Bring all that, whatever that was. [00:15:46] Speaker B: I have a bad habit of not thinking I'm doing enough, and then I exhaust myself trying to do doing too much or falling into that overthinking so much when I've gotten much better because I've been doing a lot of work on myself. But I think it's a bad mental pattern. And to shake off something that has been a part of you for so long now, I could just acknowledge it way more and I know when it's happening. And then I'm like, okay, Lyric, you. [00:16:23] Speaker A: Got to fucking that thing again. [00:16:25] Speaker B: Yeah, we're human. You could get lost in seeing people's movement, and then you see people work like seven projects back to back, and you're like, man, what am I not doing? To be considered or to pitch what it is that I'm doing. But at the end of the day, I know that I'm always doing just enough. [00:16:44] Speaker A: I love in your episode also, this idea of enoughness came up a lot. And when you were young, you had this unshakable sense of I am enough. And it is so funny that as a young person with less experience, less evidence that you would have such a sound belief and that the older we get, the more actual experience we have, the more actual evidence that what we are doing is good or enough or whatever. Fill in the blank, the more doubt there is as well. [00:17:11] Speaker B: I think we get more humble. [00:17:13] Speaker A: Okay, well, some with the years to close. [00:17:17] Speaker B: Yeah, well, we could talk about that all day long. But I think anyone who's self aware, I didn't just want to grow as an artist. I wanted to grow as a human. Yes. I think there was a very small, arrogant stage of my life. I also felt that I had to really own it at that point in. [00:17:36] Speaker A: Time because there were reasons. [00:17:38] Speaker B: Yeah. It was always with intention. It was never to be boastful or braggadocious or anything like that. It was more like, I have to put some respect on my name. So I will be like this. [00:17:50] Speaker A: Watch me lead. Watch me show you what I want you to believe about me. Right. [00:17:55] Speaker B: But I think that at this point in my life, I've seen so many amazing artists, have worked with so many amazing people that it does humble you. Because I know that there's a lot of us who are really great at what we do and really passionate about what we do. And I'm just grateful to be in that synergy. [00:18:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I was just talking with another guest about this. Being good at what you do is a baseline. Who you are is the reason is the actual reason why people ask you to, in your words, come to the party. Right? Because everybody can dance, everybody can make up an eight count. But who shows up to the party. [00:18:39] Speaker B: And how do you show up for them? You know what I'm saying? When my friends hire me or my colleagues call me and bring me into the party, I want to be a support for them. So if I could help by shedding an extra laugh or help ease a difficult moment or lend a helping hand, never disrespecting what's going on. I will always want to do that. You know what I'm saying? Because to me, if people are looking out for you, then walk in that room and look out for them still. [00:19:09] Speaker A: Totally. I love that one bad habit. Just one. Yes. I'm sure you get that response quite often. No, actually only from my very self deprecating guest. I think honestly and truly, the one habit right now that I would like to break is the phone. I'd like to stop thinking about my phone. Everything's so immediate. People expect to call right back, all this, but it's check your phone. What time is it? Oh, let me check my phone. What was that person's name? Let me Google it. Everything has become here and it takes me out of the present. It allows me not to think because I can ask, I don't have to refined inside. Yeah, right. We all know you see how many people drive with their phone in their hands. So my phone goes in the glove compartment, Bill. But now that we've had this discussion, I'm going to go right now to Target and buy an alarm clock so I don't have my phone next and in the bedroom. Next. Yes. I love this because is it the first thing that you do in the morning is do a little because it rings ding ling ling, the alarm. And you're like, oh, let me see. Who liked my post? Man, oh, man. I've got plenty of other ones, but that one I think is probably the one that has the most will have the most impact on my life, actually. Yeah, that's one change. Yes. That will give you more time, more freedom, more mental real estate, a physical change in your body right when you're not crouched all the time. That's huge. Absolutely. Good one. Okay. The habit I'm actively trying to change is keeping my phone in my bedroom and looking at it late at night. I am not a morning person, so I require my phone in the bedroom because I cannot just wake up to wake up. And I say that. I'll say that to people and they're like, get an alarm. I also have one of those. I have an alarm that wakes me up with the light of the sun and a lovely sound. And then I also have my phone alarm that is set no less than four or five times. And that entire thing does require require that whole thing yes. To get me to wake up. That cannot be replaced. That is the one that works. But it's not an airtight system because I don't want to be on my phone late at night. So I see what I need to do is when I decide I'm getting ready for bed, I need to put my phone down and plug it in and then walk away and not pick it back up. That's the habit I'm trying to implement. Okay. I support the habit I'm doing is I bring my phone into bed and I'm like watching dance videos late at night and I need to go to sleep. Yes. Same. One bad habit you possess that you would like to change. Okay. For me, it's being late because I'm the type of person that when I walk outside of the house, I see something. Oh, that plant's wilting. I want to water it or, oh, I just want to move that shoe. Just like organize the shoes on my way out. And I have a beautiful partner, Dustin, who holds me accountable and encourages me to just let it go and get going and be on time. Way better. Now let it go and get going. This is such a great mantra. This is so good. Also, Same, I like to pack my days tight. I love to the minute, like, I'm going to be in this meeting until 45, and then at 47, I am calling somebody. It just leaves me. It's such a set up for error or for expanse. And I do love and consider myself an expansive person, but when I schedule myself, that tight, undeniable I can relate is not something that I love. And I learned from Marty Kadelka. I learned so many things from him, but specifically, early is on time. On time is late, and late is fire. So I had some really great training early on in my career that enforced timeliness. But in my adult years, when I mostly work for myself, I have become a person who really running late, usually because I try to squeeze one more thing in something. Like you. I do it too. I 100%. And you know what? You're not the first person to say this. My last guest was like, it's the leaving the house. As I'm leaving, I see that, oh, I could put that cup in the dishwasher really fast. And when I opened the dishwasher, I realized that it hadn't drained from the last time, and then it doesn't drain, and then I have to reset the circuit breaker. And now it's been 15 freaking minutes, and all I had to do was leave. I was ready. My bag was on my back. Yeah, I'm with you. I definitely get that. How about you, Alif? Holding? Getting up. Hey, I need you to be more specific. Getting up in the morning. Are you a perpetual snoozer? Yes. I do it too. But you know what? I schedule it into my wake up time. I schedule my snoozes in because I love the feeling of a big stretch and going back to bed. I love it only because I can't just pop up like a jack in a box anymore. I need time to get was there ever a time that you did? Even when I was 19, I was like, no. I used to be able to, but now I can't do it anymore. So it's the getting up for me, it's a little bit of all right, I feel very seen. I'm with you both. My bad habit is that I almost always go to assuming the worst is going to happen so that I can be ready. Okay, well, just you, if that makes it any better. Totally human. But I want to start speaking into the universe, like, expecting the best beyond what I could even imagine. That's kind of nice. My meditation right now is like, may this project go beyond the greatness that I can even imagine. For nice. Yeah. Or at least equal airtime, right? At least equal. If my brain must offer me the worst, then let's also fantasize and hypothesize for the best. Yes. And prepare for the best. Yeah. Prepare for the best is something we don't talk about enough either. Yeah. We might hope for the best, but we rarely prepare for it. We should prepare for the best. We're going to prepare for the best. Fantastic. Thank you for that. That's inspiring to me. I needed to hear that today. Yeah. Habit. Well, the main thing that I'm about to kick to the curb is my caffeine intake. I've already gone through a sugar reset okay. Which I loved so much. And next is caffeine. I'm not Catholic, but around Lent, I still go through that process with them. Caffeine is out of here. Not indefinitely, but the consumption amount is going to go way down. Maybe like once a week. Nice. Okay. Oh, boy. Oh, no. I say yes too much. Is that the dancer in you? You think? Yeah, I'm starting to our desire to please at my age, I'm starting to learn the power of no. Wow. Nice. Let's talk about power. Right? Doesn't it feel good sometimes? Well, I have mean, I have to slow down. You know what March was like for me. This is how crazy. I mean, I didn't get sick. Three pancake parties. Oh, God. Trip to Cartagena, Columbia for a wedding, a trip to Phoenix for baseball, spring training, and a trip to Boston to go speak at the Berkeley School of Music have just started a commercial dance department. Good for them. Yeah. All in the month of March. Jesus. I know. We could use maybe a firmer boundary there on your time. So happy to be home and no plans in April. I can't even tell you I will not come a knocking. Enjoy your home. Enjoy your not speaking. It's less of a question, more of a prompt. I would love for you to tell me about a bad habit that you would like to change. We can edit out me thinking. Right? Yeah. Um it's tough when you're so perfect. I I could I could wake up much earlier. That it. No, let me redo it. That's perfect. I joke about napping all the time because naps really do, kind of they'll weasel their way into your day and rob you of productivity and deplete your brain of like I don't wake up more energized after a nap than I was before. I wake up groggy. Right. What year? It and it's pretty much every day at 02:00 p.m.. I get hit with the naps and most of the time I can ward it off. Right. Like something bad. But every once in a while it'll get you take you down. Okay, your bad habit is napping around 02:00 p.m.. Or is your bad habit joking about naps? No. Well, I'll joke about anything. No, the bad habit is the napping. Yeah, I don't think it's a bad habit. Actually, I know somebody who really needed to hear this today, and that is Miss Riley Higgins, who also takes I think she's a daily napper. That's what she told me recently. Part of her plan. And it works for her. Good for you if your sleep schedule and what's the rhythm? It's like circadian rhythm. Yeah. If your circadian rhythm can allow for naps and lie to still be productive, go for it. But this guy right here, it'll ruin me. And then I don't sleep well at night, and then I'm all upset the next day. I'm tired. I nap. The cycle perpetuates. I hear that. Okay, that's valid. Yeah, that's valid. Sharing, sharing, sharing, sharing. I want to have more share than I have shame. If I can share much more than I experience shame, I think I'll be much better off. My bad habit is I get shameful. Should I have done this? Should I have done that? Should I have so much should. Too much shame, not enough share. Love that share. I need to share the ratio of share to shame. That is such an important thing to focus on. And I must include a sound bite from my seaweed sister, Megan Lawson. She has a wonderful catchphrase. She says, Stop shitting on yourself. Shitting shoulding. Oh, shooting. Exactly, though. That's the point. That is great. Shitting on yourself. Yeah, the should is not useful. Nice. That's amazing. [00:31:41] Speaker C: A bad habit I would like to change is hoping people finish their sentences sooner than they actually do. I feel like a lot of times people finish their sentence and then keep going. So then in real time, I'll start talking, and then I'll be like. [00:32:06] Speaker A: And. [00:32:06] Speaker C: Then it happens constantly. Now, let me tell you why. My family and close friends, we talk to each other at the same time. That's just a thing that we do. Where my mother, she'll be talking, I'll be talking, we'll be answering, and it'll Keep going. I forget that other people don't communicate that way. So I have to presently tell myself, sit there and do not make a face until they're done. [00:32:32] Speaker A: Wow. That is a habit that's an active. [00:32:34] Speaker C: Actively trying to work on. [00:32:36] Speaker A: Okay. Wow. So wait, you're trying to not do that anymore. You're trying to be more natural in your communication. You're trying to undo the learned behavior of waiting. Sorry, I don't understand. [00:32:49] Speaker C: No, I'm trying to wait more. I'm trying to wait more because what happens is got you. When people aren't done with their sentence, I'm like, oh, yeah, okay, Aunt. [00:32:57] Speaker A: Got you. Okay. [00:32:59] Speaker C: But oh, got it. So I'm trying to be better at that. But again, it's hard because that's how I've been with friends and family members. We just talk at the same time. [00:33:08] Speaker A: I hear it also really tough in a digital environment where you can't tell if anybody's done talking ever. Sorry about that. Here's something I've noticed that's kind of on par with that. Tell me if this bothers you. I have noticed that people will just keep talking until someone else does or until they run out of things to say, at which point they'll say, does that make sense? And that's just like this filler for I don't have anything else to say, and I don't feel. Like you're ready to talk and I don't know how else to proceed. So I'm going to add, does that make sense? Or if that makes sense? And I think those are a bad habit that have trickled kind of in and out of my sphere that I'm trying to nip in the bud. Because I love really useful questions and I don't think that question is really useful. I think that question is posing as a useful question, but it's actually a disclaimer that says I don't know what I'm saying. [00:34:19] Speaker C: Can I add another question that I low key hate? [00:34:22] Speaker A: Yes. [00:34:23] Speaker C: Can I ask you a question? That's it. [00:34:28] Speaker A: Can I ask you a question? Agree. Well, now it's just talk. Well, now it's two. [00:34:35] Speaker C: Ask the question. [00:34:38] Speaker A: Wow. [00:34:39] Speaker C: Efficiency police. [00:34:41] Speaker A: Oh, I love that. You should have tickets. Efficiency police. Yeah. With a fine warning. Warning. I love that. Dom and I love you so much. Thank you for that. [00:34:53] Speaker C: I love you. Thank you. [00:34:58] Speaker A: I would say my biggest habit that I'm struggling with in this moment, in this moment is to stop, breathe, and then act, not react as a parent. You're a quick responder, aren't you? By nature? Yeah. I'm fired up, capricorn, half Italian, half Irish. Like, where is it? Flat out, man, don't fuck with me. But really that is where I'm right now. It's like I got that's such a great reminder. Thank you for that. [00:35:51] Speaker D: I have a bad habit of letting my emotions, really wearing my emotions on my sleeve when I become overwhelmed, especially within my inner circle, which leads to really poor self talk and really detrimental behavior for myself because I think there's something in there that wants to beat myself up. I think I've just conditioned that way, like the way I was raised. And it's gotten to the point in some instances where it affects the energy around me and affects how I can conduct myself. And it's not my belief. It's not like what I believe in. So that's a really bad habit of mine. [00:36:44] Speaker A: What's your game plan for that? Some people say, for example, I'm going to blow your spot. Some people say like, oh, I grabbed my phone first thing in the morning, so I'm going to just plug it in in the room outside. Like not in the bedroom. What's your game plan for this? To kick this habit? [00:37:01] Speaker D: Just be mindful. Just be better. Don't suck. Yeah, just be better at it. [00:37:08] Speaker A: Just be watchful. Notice it happening. Yeah. [00:37:11] Speaker D: I think it goes on the back end of being blinded by my own ambition. A bad habit of caring about work more than I care about other things, which is we're all hustlers and there's nothing wrong with that but balances everything for every good thing you have, you know that there's something bad somewhere. [00:37:35] Speaker A: 50 50. I couldn't agree more. [00:37:39] Speaker D: Yeah. Just kind of bad habit of talking to myself. Like I would never talk to a friend and how I'm going to kick it is try my best to treat myself like I would treat Arden, the. [00:37:58] Speaker A: People that Myers like, I would treat. [00:38:00] Speaker D: Jillian Myers do it. [00:38:02] Speaker A: I think she's kind of like you could basically check in with anybody in the dance world and be like, would you say that to Jillian Myers? And they would be like, oh, hell no, because she is the embodiment of all things kind and good and yeah, you deserve that. [00:38:17] Speaker D: Yeah, there it is. [00:38:19] Speaker A: Good job not warming up properly before I dance full out. Really? You would call that a habit? That's something that you do often? Kind of, yeah. When I get really inspired by a song, I just want to rip it and start choreographing, like instantly and yeah, honestly, it is a little bit of a bad habit, I'm not going to lie. I used to warm up a lot once I started getting into the rhythm of choreographing. A lot, a lot. My body is somewhat always warmed up, especially as a dad, because you're always on the move a little bit, chasing little nuggets. Yeah, I think I stretch my hamstrings so much in my 20s that they're kind of always warmed up, but I would say a little bit, yeah. Honestly, I need to get back into full warm ups before I jump into it. I feel like it's pretty important. Love that, love that for you. I think I'm the opposite. I think I love warming up so much. I love getting into my body, that sometimes the creation part never comes because I will spend an hour and a half indulging in finding my spine and my pelvis on top of my heels. And then 20 minutes yoga flow, a little core, and then somebody calls with a fire that I have to put out. And there it goes. So I want to get better at scheduling the making part and then also the cool down, I think as important here in the mid 30 department. After class the other night, I sure didn't, I just got in my car, drove a friend home, sat in the car and talked for like 20 minutes. And then by the time I got home and tried to get out of my car, I was in a forward fold. I was at 90 degrees at the hips and had like, little old lady get myself up to my place where I promptly got in a bathtub and gave myself a thorough theragum. But yeah, the cool down is important, a bad habit. [00:40:27] Speaker B: I would like to change. And why overthinking? I have to stop. [00:40:41] Speaker A: Wow. [00:40:45] Speaker B: It's a virgo thing, I think, as well. And I'm very much like, okay, is that right? Do they like that? You think they're going to like that? Okay. Sometimes you just have to let it go, you know what I'm saying? I've been getting better at it, but it's a habit. [00:41:04] Speaker A: Overthinking is one thing, but overthinking about what other people are thinking is also that is its own thing because we never really know. Even if we ask them, like, what are you thinking? All we know is the words they say. We don't actually know what people are thinking. So you could spiral down that for a long time. [00:41:23] Speaker B: Yes. [00:41:24] Speaker A: Okay. I am in support of you kicking that bad habit. [00:41:28] Speaker B: Get it out of here. [00:41:29] Speaker A: Get it out of here. I have been doing nighttime meditations when I lay down to go to bed. And one of my favorite ones, because the sleep time is when I lay down and I'm like, I should have said this today was bad because I could have done better tomorrow. I have to so that's when yo it's so much. I'm going to offer you this, my favorite meditation, where the guide just has you put certain groups of thought. Like, let's say you're thinking about this artist and this project. You put the artist and the project in a box under the bed and it just goes under the bed. You're still with it. It's there. It can stay there, but it's in a box and it gets quieter. And then you start thinking about money and you're like, oh, money can go in its own little box. And then you start thinking about that person, and that person can fold up in a box and they just go under the bed where they can stay. And you'll bring them out tomorrow. You can definitely talk to them and think about it tomorrow. It's been so helpful, these little boxes. I'll have like 25 in one night. [00:42:30] Speaker B: I'm going to have to get some Mother King boxes. [00:42:34] Speaker A: Yes, storage. Storage under the bed. [00:42:38] Speaker B: Because that brain up in the middle of that night will start to think about all those things. [00:42:44] Speaker A: Oh, a bad habit I have is waking up and letting my brain spiral before just before the day even begins and meditating or doing something like that. Yeah, okay. That seems pretty human. That seems like a very human mind. This morning I woke up kind of with natural light because the room I'm sitting in right now doesn't have curtains. Really? And yeah, I knew it was before 630 because my alarm hadn't gone off yet and it was already to dos like, I was already thinking of what I had to do before I even took a deep breath. Really? It's so wild how our brains immediately offer that. Okay, so how do you change that? Is it mindfulness? It's meditation. It is returning to the breath. It's having a little bit of a routine. Even if it's just like my hot water and lemon and meditation yes. Would be very ideal. Some sort of walk or workout. Luckily I have a dog that I can take out, so that's a good excuse. And not going on the phone right away. Yes, please. That helps. That's what I'm working on. Mostly it's hit or miss these days. Fair bad habit that you want to change. Go. I think sometimes I'm so worried about hurting people's feelings that like am not always totally honest. Word, dude, is that too deep? No, not at all. In fact, Same, I was just having a conversation with Riley about this the other day. I don't need to. Honesty isn't always an option. But the little white like instead of saying no, I don't want to, I'll say no, I have a meeting, which isn't always not true, but the meeting is 30 minutes and I could do both, but do you know what I mean? I feel same zoos on that. I would like to be more honest. I'm with you. Yeah. With regards to other people specifically and time, I also sometimes just procrastinate answering because I know the answers and what they want to hear. Like if we're talking about a text or an email, it's like, oh no, I can't make it for that birthday party, but maybe if I don't answer it in the next 24 hours, something will change and I'll suddenly be able to go, oh my God, what a tactic, what an approach. It's like totally delusional and I think part of me believes it, but I know it's not true. You know, it's not feel terrible and I can't go. Look at you playing yourself, inside yourself. That is intense, my friend. Okay, well, I wish you the best of luck with that. The consciousness maybe just having spoken it out loud may be helpful next time it comes up. Watch this. The fibers of your social network come rippling down. Because this thing that you thought because I was on the back and I answered that question, this is my turning point. So thank you for providing that. You're welcome. I have your back. I have your back. Okay, I got it. Hit me. It's going to be open. Yes. Just raw. Just being authentic. Just being one bad habit I have is when I have a creative idea, I don't follow up. So I procrastinate. So I have a book and I'll be so transparent. I have a book of all these ideas and it just sits there. They stay in. They stay in the book. Or a few have started their steps but I don't follow through. All right, what are you going to do about this, Reyna? What I'm going to do about it is I am actually on the works on two of so this time around I told myself you have to do extra more steps, okay. Because you've done the small steps. So now you just have to constantly make more effort meaning downtime that we have. Right. We're not working. What's that? Take a rest. Okay, so then after your rest do a little bit more to get closer to making it happen and or start exercising the word no. Sometimes no to other people is yes to you. And that book, that is a big one. And I can co sign for a long, long chapter of my life, I was a very good starter, not a good finisher. And finishing takes practice. It's a different muscle. Yeah. The have idea muscle is strong in me. The ship idea muscle is less strong. But it's like any other dance muscle. It means you need practice. So the more you practice stepping and completing and shipping absolutely. The more evidence you have that you can do it, the more ways you have to do it, the more techniques and tools you have to do it, and then the more you do it. Simple as that. Which gets deeper. We could talk for hours. It's deeper of the fear of showing your work. Oh, let's go 100%. Well, that's what it is. Let me tell you, sister, I am here for you. You ever want to talk about that fear? Yes, please. You ever want me to scare that fear away, I will shake it out of you. I will spook it out of you. I will do whatever I am to receive it. Please. That's what it is. That's the bad habit that I have, killer. My bad habit at this point in my life is procrastinating exercising. And I would like to change that, okay? And I've been working very hard since the beginning of the year now to work out a little bit every day, just a little bit. And so that's what I'm doing to change and get out of that bad habit. Okay? I started to think, okay, I'm a director now. I don't need to be doing all that and blah, blah, blah, blah. And then I realized I put on the music and I start to work out and I feel so good, so much better. So much better. Yeah. I can tell if it's been a while since I've worked out, because I get moody, I get a little down. It's true. Endorphins make you happy. So for no other reason than that, tap into those endorphins. That's good to know. I think it's one of the reasons I admire Basil so much, because I'll be real. There are weeks where I don't dance. Weeks. And I'm 36 and my body works well. And I am thinking, like she says, if you don't use it, you lose it. And so it's inspiring to be hearing stories of continuing. Did you ever know Jackie Landrum? She was an amazing woman, and she was Tony contemporary. They did a lot of work together, danced on a lot of the same shows together and did all that together. She passed away a while ago from cancer, unfortunately. But she was kind of my muse, my dance muse when I came out here. And she was like, Tony, it didn't matter. She had three hip replacements because she was one of the first hip replacements that even, you know, by the time the second hip replacement came. I saw her in the hospital. She's doing? BOP malls day two. But she was like Tony. I mean, she had to dance every single day or she wasn't happy. That's insane. I love that. That's easy. Hit me. Okay. A bad habit that I would like to change personally about myself is my procrastination level. Wow. Can't speak. There it is. I like procrastination because it feels sometimes like you have to crash. It does sometimes feel like hitting a wall. [00:50:53] Speaker E: Procrastinating. [00:50:55] Speaker A: Yeah. Are you sure? We talk about procrastinating in the previous episode. I do. [00:51:00] Speaker E: Here's my thing I do on certain things. [00:51:05] Speaker A: It works. [00:51:07] Speaker E: What do you mean? [00:51:08] Speaker A: I mean, your brain is really economical. Why would you do for a whole week long what you could do in one day? Every time you procrastinate and pull it off? You're training your brain that procrastination works and you should keep doing it. Especially somebody who knows work smarter, not harder. You could get down with that. [00:51:26] Speaker E: I know that makes sense. But that doesn't apply to everything. [00:51:32] Speaker A: That's true. [00:51:32] Speaker E: It's things like I don't know. I don't want to get specific, but maybe something that's not so fun. Like you put off longer. [00:51:46] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:51:46] Speaker E: Not taxes. Don't do that. [00:51:48] Speaker A: I have filed an extension almost every single year of my life. [00:51:52] Speaker E: But normally most people do that. But it's a problem if you do like ten years in a row. [00:51:57] Speaker A: We're not talking like evasion. [00:51:58] Speaker E: Yeah, but that happens. People procrastinate. People do that. People do that. And that teaches them a lesson not to procrastinate. [00:52:06] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:52:07] Speaker E: You know what I mean? Because also on the flip side of it, I know once I decide I'm going to do something, there's nobody that can stop me. You know what I mean? So it's like total opposite of that. [00:52:20] Speaker A: That's great. Yeah. Cool. Thank you. [00:52:22] Speaker E: Thanks for making me think about that. [00:52:23] Speaker A: Now, what is one bad habit that you have that you are trying to kick? Procrastination. That's what Marty said. Yeah. Procrastination is the one thing and I like pressure. Yeah. That's why. So if I have a date to meet, I will wait until two, three days before that date and knock out whatever I need to knock out. And it's always great because you can make up a hook in 15 minutes. So why would you take a week if you could do it in 15 minutes? I think procrastination is fine. I think it works. It's our brains being very efficient and it shows the character of who you are in a space of pressure. That is true. How you deliver under pressure, being caught, but still you're trying to kick it. I get it. I understand. But I think embracing more than kick, like, I think I want to understand it. Hug it out of the way. Indeed. Just love on it and don't do it so much. Yeah. Just a little kiss here or there. Okay, my friend. I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. I know for me, it is important to remember that the people I adore and admire, all of my guests, are, at the end of the day, people working to be better. It's an inspiring thing to remember, and I loved learning and thinking of my own bad habits that I would like to kick. I think today my answer to this question, the bad habit that I would like to kick is, like, I have so many here it is. Okay. A food belief that I have about myself is that I like to assemble. I'm not much of a cook. I don't prepare meals. I just put food on a plate and eat it. And one of the bad habits I have is that I keep going back to the pantry after the plate of assembled food is devoured. I'll be like, I just need, like, a few more raisins or, like, a handful of almonds. I just have, like, one more piece of dark chocolate. And, you know, now I kind of want the plantain chips and no, just like, one pretzel, and that can go on for some time. I think what I would like to do is decide what I will eat and then eat that and then not continue eating. I'll let you know how it goes. Question mark. Am I alone in that? I think it's kind of a human thing. I think that's, like, the way that taste works. It's like salty wants sweet, sweet wants salty. For me, it's like the dark chocolate that really closes that loop. What closes your food loop? Now I just want to, like, what's everybody's last flavor bit, or do you not even care? Am I totally alone in this? I'm getting off camera nods from Riley Higgins. She's like you're not alone. The food loop is real. What ends the food loop? For some, it's coffee. I think for me, it's coffee and dark chocolate. For some people, like the black licorice flavor star anis. For some people, it's mint, like having a piece of gum. For some people, it's ice cream sundaes, which, speaking of, it's the end of the year. I think I'm going to go celebrate this awesome podcast and next week's episode, which you cannot miss, riley Higgins and I are recapping the entire year. It's a cross interview. There will be wrist roll with it. There will be a lot of laughter and a fantastic close to the year. I hope you have enjoyed all of 2023, or at least the enjoyable parts and the parts that weren't so enjoyable, I hope you just process those and are fine with it. Now get out into the world. After you subscribe and click the bell for notifications, leave a review and rating and go. Please be exceptionally funky out there. I will talk to you soon. This podcast was produced by me with the help of many big, big love to our executive assistant and editor, Riley Higgins. Our communications manager is Ori Vajadares. Our music is by Max Winnie, logo and brand design by Brie REITs, thumbnails and marketing by Fiona Small. You can make your tax deductible donations towards that Move Me thanks to our fiscal sponsor, the Dance Resource Center, and also many thanks to you. I'm so glad you're here. And if you're digging the pod, please share it, leave a review and rating. And if you want to coach with me and the many marvelous members of the Words That Move Me community, visit wordsthetmoveme.com. If you're simply curious to know more about me, the work I do outside of this podcast, visit thedanawilson.com.

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